You DO Have Time

I cringe when I hear someone say they’re too busy or they have no time. These have to be two of the worst excuses ever! Trust me, I’ve used them myself.

It’s a lesson I learned a long time ago but still have to check myself, even today. Recently, I was asked to speak at a conference, one of my favorite things to do. I nearly jumped at the opportunity when I caught myself and took a step back. I am currently working full time, going to school full time, volunteering, siting on the board of a nonprofit, chairing a committee for another organization, writing a blog and writing for about five other sites periodically. In between all of that, I try to stay connected with friends, family and my network of peers across the country.

It sounds like I have no time to take on anymore but that is not the case. I actually do have the time but I have to make choices. I can either find a way to work smarter so that I can take on more and simply spend less time on each task or I can give something up to take on something else.

Life is about choices. We make time for everything we think is important enough. So when you think about this in the context of work, people have time to do what is important but the problem is that importance is defined differently by different people.

What are you making time for in life, professionally and personally? What is important to you and are you being honest about what is not?

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Say Goodbye to Holiday Expectations

Holidays are the best and worst times of the year, right? At least for a lot of people they are because there are lots of expectations that come with the holidays – cooking, gifts, attendance, traditions, etc. The problem is that not everyone agrees on these things which can cause lots of drama in family get-togethers during the holidays.

This used to be the case with my family too. However, life got so much simpler when we decided to break expectations almost a decade ago. These days, things are less stressful. Sometimes, we get together and sometimes we don’t, at least not all of us. A couple years, my cousins and I just went out for dinner and hung out at our favorite bar and watched football. A couple years, the whole family got together, sometimes at a restaurant and sometimes at someone’s house.

This year, I’m hosting for the first time. Everyone I tell that to has responded with sympathy, which confuses me but it’s because they have unrealistic expectations that they associate with stress. They would apologize that I had to host or feel sorry for me that I was doing all of this cooking. See, I’m not stressed at all. I’ve enjoyed cooking and I don’t have to do it all. Everyone is bringing something.

The beauty of it is that there are no rules. You can bring whatever you want. Who cares if there are more desserts than appetizers? Not us! We don’t even know for sure how many people are showing up. If you can make it, great and if not, we’ll catch you at the next holiday, or next year! Everyone is invited – friends, family, extended family, babies, dogs, your neighbor, your coworkers or anyone you know of that doesn’t have anywhere to go or anyone to spend the holiday with.

So, this year I am grateful for the fact that my family

– has broken the stressful expectations and traditions of the holidays,

– has kept the parts we love (being together, great company and the best food around),

– has been open to a “no rules” kind of get-together,

– has opened its arms to anyone and everyone who wants to join us, and

– has allowed me to host them.

Expectations are a great thing but be very careful with them. If they are the wrong expectations, they will cause great anxiety! Do you have the right expectations for the holidays?

I wish you the happiest holidays! From my rule-breaking family to yours!

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Do you believe in YOU?

The world is full of people who will tell you all the things that you cannot do but what do you tell yourself?

There will always be people who laugh at you when you tell them your hopes and dreams but do you listen to them?

Even the people closest to you will advise you that the goals you’re pursuing and the actions you’re taking are unrealistic or impossible but do you let that stop you?

I work a lot of hours (mostly by choice because I love my job and want to do more), I chair the Learning & Education Committee for ASHHRA and I write a blog.

I recently accepted a board position and an MBA program. I’m told constantly that I should reconsider some of the commitments I have made before I even give them a try. I’m told constantly that I will never see my friends and family again for the next three years. I’m told constantly that I cannot possibly accomplish all of this and that I will fail. I’m told constantly that I’m in over my head and I’m too young and inexperienced to realize it. I’m told constantly that I’m going to regret my decisions.

People will say these things, sometimes out of genuine concern for you, but does that mean you should believe it and make it your reality?

This has been the story of my entire life. Most of my accomplishments thus far have been faced with these exact words, these exact obstacles – being the first college graduate in my family, getting six promotions in six years and starting my blog. My parents couldn’t help me pay for school so I was told that I would never be able to do it on my own and that I had no clue what I was getting into. Every time I was promoted, I was told that I did not have enough experience and that I was too young to succeed. When I started my blog, I was told that no one would read it and that it was a waste of time.

I’m grateful for all the amazing people in my life who are looking out for me and you should too but if you take care of yourself and do the things in life that make you happy, that is what matters. If you believe completely in yourself even when it seems that others don’t believe in you, you will succeed beyond expectations. If you allow yourself to fail, you will grow to levels you may not even realize you are capable of. Many future successes are a product of previously failed attempts. Failure is just a stepping stone to success.

Don’t let anyone stop you – not people, not words, not failures, not fear.

I wish you all the success in the world and when it feels like you’re up against the world working to accomplish something great, just know that I’m in your corner! Live the life that makes you happy, not the one that satisfies the doubts of others.

What’s your story?

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We Create Our Comfort Zones

I’m over the excuses for why people don’t get things done or take chances on themselves. At a minimum, on a weekly basis, I’ve been finding myself engrossed in conversations about productivity, change and/or success. They seem to always include excuses as to why people “can’t” do something. I’m in an industry of constant change and quite a bit of chaos so lately, the common excuse is “I’m not comfortable.” This is one of my favorites. It’s right up there with “I don’t have time.”

It’s one of my favorite excuses because it’s ironic to me. People talk about comfort zones like they’re magical things that just exist without effort. They assume that everything else that is not already in their comfort zone will remain in their “uncomfortable zone” forever without the possibility of movement.

Here’s a reality check and some good news: everything in our “uncomfortable zone” can become part of our “comfort zone.” A comfort zone is a completely fabricated concept. We made it up! Everything in our comfort zone was moved there because we got used to things that we were uncomfortable with at first.

So, it’s funny to me when I hear this as an excuse for not trying something new or not living out dreams. I pretty much get this excuse at least from one person every time I propose a new change or project, “Lotus, I’m not sure I’m comfortable with this.” My answer usually? “Awesome! Neither am I! Let’s get comfortable with it!”

Recently, I invited a coworker to join a Twitter chat since she wanted to find a convenient way to learn from other organizations without having to attend conferences across the country. She told me that she isn’t part of the generation that is comfortable with social media and that I’m better at it because I grew up with it. She was shocked when I told her that I went off Facebook until recently, that I didn’t really use LinkedIn until 2011 and that I didn’t even get a Twitter account until 2013. I told her my story about how terrified I was to start writing and going social. It definitely was not in my comfort zone. In fact, I still don’t think it is in my comfort zone, but I do it anyway. She got herself a Twitter account and met a couple awesome people in the industry already!

Comfort zones don’t just happen to us. We create our own comfort zones. There’s so much that I’m intentionally working on adding to my comfort zone. What are you trying to add to your comfort zone? When are you going to purposely take a chance on YOU?

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Want to succeed? Ask questions!

Ask questions! That is my one piece of advice to all new employees. Heck, start asking questions before you get the job. The traditional interview process is no longer relevant. It’s not a one-way Q&A session anymore. The Q&A goes both ways now. Ask your new employer questions that are meaningful to your decision process. This will help both you and your potential employer make a better decision about whether or not you would do well in the job, in the organization and on the team.

Once you start a job, it is just as important to continue asking questions. No one knows everything even if they tell you they do! I’ve heard all the excuses and assumptions:

  • I’m scared I’ll sound stupid.
  • I’m afraid they think I should know the answer to that already.
  • I don’t know who to ask.
  • I don’t want to bother them.
  • They’re so busy. They don’t have time to answer my questions.
  • I probably don’t really need to know that right now. I’ll ask if I ever have to know.
  • If I needed to know that, they would tell me so I don’t need to ask.
  • I’m sure someone else will ask my question.
  • I’m sure I’ll figure it out eventually.

Well, guess what? These are all actually very valid concerns and feelings. But, guess what else? They don’t need to stop you from asking questions and growing yourself and your career.

  • So, someone thinks you sound stupid. Who cares? You still gain something out of getting the answer. Who’s problem is it that they think you sound stupid? It’s not your problem.
  • Maybe you should know the answer but if you don’t, keeping quiet isn’t going to get you the answer.
  • If you don’t know who to ask, ask everyone until you find out who the right person is to ask.
  • If people are bothered by you asking a question, that is their burden to carry, not yours.
  • Everyone is busy, including you, I’m sure. You’ll be more productive if you ask and so will they because they know you’re getting your work done.
  • Growth is about learning as much as you can so even if you don’t need to know it, ask questions about things you want to know.
  • Never assume that someone is going to look out for you. You need to ask questions proactively rather than waiting for people to give you all the information you need to do your job.
  • Again, you’re going down a very uncertain path if you’re waiting for someone else to ask the question you have. What if they do it when you’re not there and now you don’t have the answer?
  • Maybe you will figure it out eventually but wouldn’t it be nice to get the answer and figure it out now?

I instill this in my team and in all the employees I work with every single day. The ones who ask a lot of questions have become the go-to people in the organization. They always seem to have the answers because they always ask the questions.

So, let me ask you a question: are you going to start asking questions?

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Satisfaction is overrated

Don’t get me wrong; satisfaction is great. It’s comfortable. It’s rewarding. It’s bliss, really. Satisfaction is the ultimate goal in many cases. If I’m satisfied with my meal at a restaurant, I’ll become a loyal customer and go there all the time. If I have the best doctor in the world, I’ve hit satisfaction and there’s no reason to keep looking for a new doctor.

But, what about work, if that’s what we want to call it? I don’t just mean the job we do everyday. I’m talking about our work environment, our leadership and the culture at our organizations. I challenge the notion of simply getting to satisfaction in this realm. In this case, I believe that satisfaction is way overrated.

In the past six years, I’ve changed jobs six times and departments twice. I reached satisfaction in all of my previous five roles, achieving a state of total comfort. There wasn’t much left for me to learn and almost nothing that was challenging me in my career. So, I moved on. It would have been easy for me to stay in the same role and department forever. I might have been perfectly happy but I knew that the only way to grow was to take a risk and make that next move into the scary unknown.

I wouldn’t be where I am today if I settled for satisfaction. There are plenty of reasons to be satisfied but not if someone is trying to grow their career. I hear people complain about their jobs and their situations all day, every day. Yet, I never see most of them do anything about it because even though they have complaints, they’re comfortable and satisfied to an extent. It can be terrifying to push ourselves out of our comfort zones but it is necessary in order to grow ourselves.

Some may have noticed that I didn’t say I changed organizations in the past six years. That is not necessary in order to step out of my comfort zone. I’ve been extremely fortunate that I’ve had the opportunities to challenge myself and push myself out of my comfort zone within my current organization. I’m still not satisfied or comfortable and that’s the best feeling in the world. It means I’m being challenged both personally and professionally.

To really find our passion and really make an impact in the world, we have to keep striving for better. It’s not just about a job role change. It’s about everything we do – every project we’re on, every committee we participate in and every change we’re trying to make in our organizations or maybe, in the world.

Don’t settle for satisfaction. It could possibly mean settling for less.

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Dare to be quirky at work!

I was asked to speak at a memorial recently for a coworker of mine who passed away. As I thought about what I appreciated most about her, I realized it was her quirks. I remember every day at 2:00pm, without fail, she would let out a big, loud yawn that half the office could hear. It was as if she was our human alarm clock. There is such a void for us at that time now. She also had a collection of doggie beanie babies above her desk to showcase her love for animals. She wasn’t afraid to be herself and let us all into her life even though we were at work.

So many people are afraid to be themselves at work. They’re rigid and quiet and constantly trying to be whatever their boss or their organization wants them to be. Yes, organizations need to do a better job of creating a safe environment for employees to be themselves.

Be yourself, right from the start when you apply for a job. Yes, you want to be appropriate with your resume but you don’t have to follow all the traditional guidelines. The most popular question I get from jobseekers is whether or not they can have more than one page to their resume. They are so concerned with that. It really doesn’t matter in the end. If there really are recruiters out there who will throw your resume to the side (or in the trash) if it exceeds one page, well, they’re the one with the problem, not you.  They’re probably missing out on many great candidates, including yourself. So, just be you.

Do it again in your interview. If you get that opportunity, ask questions to your recruiter or hiring manager that you really care about. Then, tell them about you. When answering interview questions, don’t think about what the other person wants to hear; just answer honestly and if there’s a funny story that shows your character, share it! I’ll give you an example. One time, I was in an interview and I was asked what my proudest accomplishment was at my previous job. I half-joked that it was convincing 100% of my team to try sushi. The recruiter and I got into a conversation about how she’s the only one in her family that likes sushi. Trust me, that’s not why I got the job but it gave people an idea of what it is really like being around me – my sense of humor, what I like to eat and my inclusion of and influence on others. It also allowed them to relate to me better and ask me better questions.

I’m always looking for quirks and unique characteristics when I interview people. I once did a group interview for a candidate. He answered every question bluntly. When asked what his biggest motivator at work is, he said money. My peers were offended and brushed him off as a potential hire right away. I loved his answer! It was honest. I am so over cliche answers during an interview. I get so bored hearing the same thing over and over again. I’m looking for someone with something new, something exciting, something to prove, something to fight for. I don’t care how many awards someone won or how many projects they completed. I want to hire someone real, someone who will think for themselves and produce new, even wild ideas! I want to hire someone who isn’t afraid to be quirky, different or silly at work. I don’t want to hire someone who hides behind a fake persona of what they think I’m looking for.

I encourage you to go on and be YOU at work. Show your personality, your character. Dare to be quirky!

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Never Settle for Less – Commit in 2015!

We’re about to approach a new year. With that comes New Year resolutions that often fail. Even the most measurable goals tend to fall by the wayside come March. This year, I’m going to try a new kind of New Year resolution!

I’m keeping it simple – one goal, one resolution. That is, I will commit to never settling for less in 2015. It might sound oversimplified or generic but it’s an important concept that too many people lose sight of when they’re busy trying to accomplish all of the other goals in their lives. They focus so much on the end result that they forget to reflect on whether or not they are even going down the right path.

I’m committing that in 2015, I will consistently ask myself if I’m settling for less or not – in my work, relationships, personal goals and other life activities. If the answer is yes, I know I will have to reevaluate and choose a different path.

I’ve learned the hard way that when I settle for less, I’m giving up so much that I could and should have in my life. So, how do you know when you’re settling?

  • When you become satisfied rather than passionate about something in your life, you know you’re settling.
  • When you feel robotic in what you’re doing rather than feeling excited, you know you’re settling.
  • When you find yourself constantly complaining rather than raving about something, you know you’re settling.
  • When you have to make excuses to convince yourself and others that something is the right decision, you know you’re settling.
  • When you don’t do something simply because of fear, you know you’re settling.

Take the time this next year to be intentional about reflecting upon your experiences, decisions and goals. Evaluate whether or not you are settling for less and commit to redirecting yourself if you find that you are headed down a path that results in something less than you deserve.

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Your choice: Peer to fear or peer to pioneer?

So, you’ve been promoted. Congratulations, you’re now in charge of your peers and possibly, your friends!

Don’t panic! Here’s a recommendation you can follow to be successful. I call it the LASH OUT solution.

Layout expectations for everyone.

If you outline your expectations to your entire team, including your friends, everyone will know what they need to do. Be very clear about what results need to be produced.

In addition to the work, successful leaders define expectations for their teams related to people skills and team behaviors. Tell your team the kind of leader you’re willing to be and make clear what your expectations are of them, individually and as a team.

Avoid favoritism.

Don’t treat your friends better than everyone else. This sounds simple but it’s actually very difficult to do consistently. People are often afraid of breaking friendships if they don’t give their friends special treatment. As my mother would say, if they don’t want to be your friend for doing the right thing, they’re not good friends to begin with.

Now, I’m not a believer that you cannot keep your friendships or build new ones with team members. However, leaders need to constantly remind themselves of the line between friendship and leadership. Don’t let your friends on the team get away with doing less work, producing lower quality results or misbehaving. You’re only hurting yourself if you play favorites. Plus, it makes you lose credibility.

Spread the love.

Did you used to go out to eat or enjoy happy hour with some of the employees you now lead? No one’s asking you to stop but you might want to consider inviting the rest of the team sometimes or doing these same things with rest of your team members. If you can include everyone in the activities that build personal relationships, you may end up with a really awesome team who not only enjoys working together but genuinely enjoys each other.

Hold your entire staff accountable for team and individual goals and behaviors.

Remember when we talked about expectations? Don’t just set them. Hold people accountable for them. If someone on your team needs coaching, even if it’s your friend, coach them. Communicate to them that you want to help but that you also have expectations of them.

The goal is to get the most out of your team so that you can lead change, create positive results and make a difference together.

Opt out of all the gossip.

The days of water cooler chat are over when you’re promoted to a leadership position. Don’t allow yourself to get caught up in the gossip. Not that it’s okay for your employees to be gossiping but when you’re a leader, you need to be the one who sets the example.

Understand your employees.

Get to know everyone on your team, not just your friends. Learn about what they like, what motivates them and what frustrates them. Use what you learn to personalize your leadership to each person. Just like people learn differently, people also respond to leadership styles differently. Adapt as necessary. Leaders must be nimble.

Take time outs.

You can disagree all you want but you are never too busy to take a time out. Time outs are for reflecting and re-energizing, Take time outs often to think about the things you can do differently to lead your team successfully and to get motivated to do them.

Use this LASH OUT model to ensure a successful transition from peer to leader. Ultimately, it’s your choice. Do you want to go from peer to fear or peer to pioneer? LASH OUT and pioneer change and great ideas!

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Your move: Leaders act as if everyone is watching

“It’s not a problem unless you get caught.”
“It’s not like she heard me.”
“He doesn’t have to know. We don’t have to tell him.”
“Those things are confidential so they can’t talk about it.”

Sound familiar? Perhaps, you’ve even said these things before without meaning any harm. These aren’t just things that our employees say. I’ve heard these exact words from organizational leaders and even Human Resources (HR) and Compliance professionals. Sometimes, it’s easier to let things go if we don’t think others will find out. It can be more convenient to take the shortcuts because we think it’ll still get us the same result without anyone noticing.

You don’t get in trouble if you don’t get caught, right? Well, the truth is you never really know. Whether we like it or not, when we are in a leadership position, we are on stage 24 hours per day and 7 days per week. We’re in the spotlight whether we’re at work, online or out on the town. We represent our work, our employees and our organizations no matter where we are or what we’re doing.

So, how do we handle such pressure of being a leader? Live by one rule: always act as if everyone is watching. If we do this, we’ll have a better chance of always doing the right thing and doing the right thing means that we don’t have to remember and keep track of all our secrets or stories.

As leaders, we’re responsible for a lot of tough decisions and difficult conversations. We’re often forced to act quickly, which sometimes leaves us little time to thoroughly evaluate our decisions and their consequences. Even in times of turmoil, leaders must remember to do the right thing even though the right thing will not always make everyone happy.

An example that I’ve seen many leaders struggle with is fair compensation. I’ve seen leaders and HR professionals engage in unfair pay distribution and defend it by convincing themselves that the employees will not talk to each other about their pay.

Even when it comes to confidential matters like pay or severance packages or employee relations concerns, leaders must act as if everyone is watching and do what they know is best. The most successful leaders I know always have ethics at the forefront of everything they do.

So, what’s your next move? Will you act as if everyone is watching?

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