Don’t beg employees to stay as they leave

Stop begging at work. Quite frankly, it’s really not a good look for you anyway. We’ll get to that. What I’m talking about specifically is when employers beg employees to stay only after they leave, or threaten to.

Whether an employee is asking for a raise or some other work environment change, their supervisors or HR do not usually take them seriously until they are about ready to leave or worse, already left your organization. So, what’s the big deal? Well, it’s actually quite disrespectful.

  • It’s disrespectful to the employee. When employers don’t consider an employee’s request for something to change to make their work environment better, the employee feels devalued. I’m speaking, of course, about high performers. You may not ever be able to make everyone happy but the worst thing you can do to your highest performers is to make them feel less than what they really are to you. Waiting until they threaten to leave to make a change doesn’t help. It takes a lot of energy for them to look for another job and go through interviewing processes. It is completely disrespectful to them when you make them an offer to stay only when you realize they can go somewhere else.
  • It’s disrespectful to the other organization that is ready and willing to hire your employee. If you wait until your employee has another offer on the table, you’re wasting the time of the organization that has invested resources in hiring your employee. It takes time, money and other resources – someone to source the applications, a recruiter, a hiring manager, an onboarding staff, trainers, etc. You wouldn’t want this to happen to you so don’t put this burden on others.
  • It’s disrespectful to your team. Your team is not just going to think that you do not value people but how are they going to feel when they find out you made a higher offer or change for the employee who was leaving? The message you are sending is that the only way someone can get a higher salary or positive change on your team is if they threaten to leave. Everyone will start looking for another job!
  • It’s disrespectful to yourself. As leaders, you have a responsibility to support your teams and like it or not, you have a reputation to maintain. If you beg employees to stay only after they leave, you look like a fool and that is not a good look for a leader. Respect yourself enough not to do this.

I’m not suggesting you give employees everything they want, not even your highest performers. The point is you need to take off the blurry glasses and at least take a hard look at what’s going on in your workplaces, how you are treating your best employees and consider making meaningful changes before you lose them. Take this as a way to look in the mirror at yourself and do a quick reality check because you often don’t realize the impact of your decisions and actions especially if no one tells you or you’re in the midst of a busy work schedule. Be proactive in making appropriate changes for your team instead of waiting until you feel forced to do it because they are looking for another opportunity.

I get it. Depending on where you are on the hierarchy, you may or may not have as much power as you would like in order to impact change. Before you give up on fighting for your employees though, answer this question honestly: did you even try fighting for them or did you just give up? Ask the right questions to your HR departments. Take the time to put a business case together to present to your senior leaders. Draft a well thought-out proposal for your boss. Use your connections. If you lose the battle, at least you know you went down fighting for what you believe was the right thing.


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Take ownership and stop blaming your predecessors

One of the greatest problems I see in organizations is a lack of ownership. The most popular excuse I hear for this problem is, “[My predecessor] should have done this but didn’t and now it is too big of a mess to cleanup.”

Guess what? It’s your job! Most of the time, I find that the predecessor did not mess anything up but the successor just doesn’t understand how things worked before and why things were done the way they were done, which is a totally separate issue. It’s a complete cop out to blame someone who cannot even defend themselves.

If you don’t like the way things are, don’t just sit there and blame someone else for your problems. Take ownership of your role! But, how in the world are you supposed to do that? Start with five “knows.”

Know that not everything that was done before is bad. Have an open mind and don’t shut everything out and try to change it all just because you wouldn’t have done it that way. This is a horrible epidemic in leadership. Every new leader comes in and changes everything. It’s rarely ever a positive thing. You think you’re making things better but all you’re doing is making your staff suffer. Before you start changing everything, do a diligent evaluation of what is working well and what is not before making a single change.

Know that it’s okay to change and how to do it right. Not everything you inherit will be gold. Once you do a thorough evaluation, begin the change process for things that need improvement. Don’t just sit there and whine about how your predecessor screwed it all up for you and how it’s impossible to change. Do something about it! Make sure to include your stakeholders though, particularly your employees and your customers. A new leader who storms in and just starts tearing things apart is not going to get much support.

Know that you’re not alone so build some relationships. New employees have what I like to call the “freshman syndrome.” They act like they’re in high school again and become paranoid that the more veteran employees are automatically going to pick on them. Well, get over yourselves! If you’re a new leader, I can assure you that your employees are just as weary about you as you are about them so why not make them feel better? You are the leader, after all. Make them feel welcomed and comfortable. Get to know them. Ask them questions, seek their feedback and involve them in changes.

Know that trust is earned – not just trust with you but trust in you. You’re not going to immediately trust everyone you encounter so don’t expect them to trust you right away. Show your team that you’re worthy of leading them. Embrace those who question you and challenge you; don’t punish them for it.

Know that you can make a difference. So, you don’t understand how or why things were done before and it just seems completely backwards to you. Then, fix it. Don’t be afraid to take some risks and turn things around for the better. If you do it right, you and your team can be extremely successful. Don’t blame anyone for the problems you think you inherited. Take ownership of it and you can make a real and lasting impact.

Here’s a bonus piece of advice – people who take ownership don’t flaunt it. They don’t need to talk about it – about their predecessors not doing a good job, about them turning things around or about how hard it is to be them.

Ownership is very noticeable. There’s no hiding it. Take ownership and stop blaming your predecessors!


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Dare to be quirky at work!

I was asked to speak at a memorial recently for a coworker of mine who passed away. As I thought about what I appreciated most about her, I realized it was her quirks. I remember every day at 2:00pm, without fail, she would let out a big, loud yawn that half the office could hear. It was as if she was our human alarm clock. There is such a void for us at that time now. She also had a collection of doggie beanie babies above her desk to showcase her love for animals. She wasn’t afraid to be herself and let us all into her life even though we were at work.

So many people are afraid to be themselves at work. They’re rigid and quiet and constantly trying to be whatever their boss or their organization wants them to be. Yes, organizations need to do a better job of creating a safe environment for employees to be themselves.

Be yourself, right from the start when you apply for a job. Yes, you want to be appropriate with your resume but you don’t have to follow all the traditional guidelines. The most popular question I get from jobseekers is whether or not they can have more than one page to their resume. They are so concerned with that. It really doesn’t matter in the end. If there really are recruiters out there who will throw your resume to the side (or in the trash) if it exceeds one page, well, they’re the one with the problem, not you.  They’re probably missing out on many great candidates, including yourself. So, just be you.

Do it again in your interview. If you get that opportunity, ask questions to your recruiter or hiring manager that you really care about. Then, tell them about you. When answering interview questions, don’t think about what the other person wants to hear; just answer honestly and if there’s a funny story that shows your character, share it! I’ll give you an example. One time, I was in an interview and I was asked what my proudest accomplishment was at my previous job. I half-joked that it was convincing 100% of my team to try sushi. The recruiter and I got into a conversation about how she’s the only one in her family that likes sushi. Trust me, that’s not why I got the job but it gave people an idea of what it is really like being around me – my sense of humor, what I like to eat and my inclusion of and influence on others. It also allowed them to relate to me better and ask me better questions.

I’m always looking for quirks and unique characteristics when I interview people. I once did a group interview for a candidate. He answered every question bluntly. When asked what his biggest motivator at work is, he said money. My peers were offended and brushed him off as a potential hire right away. I loved his answer! It was honest. I am so over cliche answers during an interview. I get so bored hearing the same thing over and over again. I’m looking for someone with something new, something exciting, something to prove, something to fight for. I don’t care how many awards someone won or how many projects they completed. I want to hire someone real, someone who will think for themselves and produce new, even wild ideas! I want to hire someone who isn’t afraid to be quirky, different or silly at work. I don’t want to hire someone who hides behind a fake persona of what they think I’m looking for.

I encourage you to go on and be YOU at work. Show your personality, your character. Dare to be quirky!


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