Leadership fail: A “make everyone happy” attitude

Whether we are conscious of it or not, we often want to make everyone happy. As leaders, we don’t take pride in firing people, writing people up, not taking people’s ideas or leaving people out of important decisions but the truth is that we may very well have to do these things sometimes.

One of the greatest leadership fails I’ve seen is avoiding difficult decisions, crucial conversations and other unpopular but necessary actions. I’ve seen leaders let their employees get away with some of the worst behaviors because they think that talking to the employees about their behaviors will make things worse and the employees won’t like them anymore. First of all, this is a poor excuse for not addressing people problems. Secondly, the reality is often different from the leaders’ perceptions.

A leader with a “Make Everyone Happy” attitude can be extremely detrimental to a team. We’ve all seen them. They’re the ones who ask everyone in the organization for their opinion before making a decision and values every person’s opinion the same. They’re the ones who give poor performers a good review because they don’t want to have “that” conversation. They’re the ones who try to reward everyone, even people who aren’t doing their job well…or at all.

In hindsight, these leaders are actually hurting themselves and their teams. A “Make Everyone Happy” attitude can:

  • Slow productivity. When we try to make everyone happy by including them in every decision, we never get a decision made or we end up making a decision without everyone because we need to meet a deadline – and then, they get even more upset with us because we asked for their opinion and didn’t wait for them to give it. Sometimes, involving too many people in a decision, assignment or project can hinder productivity. Leaders must know when to include everyone and when not too.
  • Devalue high performers. If we treat our poor performers the same as our high performers, our high performers will start to notice. I see leaders do this a lot when it comes to performance reviews. Whether we like it or not, employees talk. Our high performers will find out if you rate a poor performer similar to them and they will become less motivated to do a good job. Why should they go above and beyond if we don’t recognize them for it?
  • Ruin a leader’s reputation. Employees will stop trusting us if we are always trying to make everyone happy. They will notice. Trust will be broken. Leaders must focus on doing the right things the right way, which may not always be the most popular thing that makes everyone happy.

Trying to make everyone happy can often backfire on leaders and do the opposite – piss everyone off. Great leaders aren’t afraid to stand alone, which is why they rarely have to.

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Leadership fail: Micromanagement

I posted a poll on my blog for about three weeks. I asked the question: Which type of manager is the worst? 80% of people said that a micromanager is the worst type of manager.

Essentially, people would rather have a manager who was totally hands-off and a manager who is not personable or approachable. So what’s so bad about a micromanager and how do leaders avoid micromanagement?

Micromanagers are annoying.

To employees, it feels like micromanagers are nagging them. Micromanagers are constantly asking for progress reports and telling employees how they should do every little thing.

What should a leader do instead?

Ask, listen, and coach. If you ask your employee how things are going, listen to what they have to say. Don’t jump to conclusions and start telling them how to do something. Then, if they need help, offer suggestions and guidance but don’t solve their problems for them. Help them solve it themselves. Give them time to try before asking them for an update again.

Micromanagers are hurtful.

Micromanagers ask employees to do something and then turn around and tell the employees how to do it or do it for them. This makes employees feel that they are not trusted or competent, which can be very hurtful especially if it’s not true.

What should a leader do instead?

Trust your employees! Provide them the resources and then hold them accountable for accomplishing the assignment. It really is that simple. Surprise your employees by trusting them and they might just surprise you by doing a great job!

Micromanagers are harmful to team morale.

Micromanagers focus too much on managing the work that they forget to lead their people, which will quickly diminish morale. Micromanaging people also makes it feel like you think you’re the only one who knows how to do something and that you’re not part of a team working together.

What should a leader do instead?

Allow people to contribute. Get to know your team and their strengths and areas they want to grow. Then, utilize that information to make appropriate assignments. If everyone contributes to the cause, they will begin to feel like a team again. Avoid creating the me vs. them culture.

Realizing you’re a micromanager is the first step. Being proactive in changing your micromanagement tendencies is more difficult but will put you on the road to becoming a better leader.

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Growth doesn’t always happen through upward movement

That’s right, growth doesn’t always happen through upward movement. In fact, To grow, sometimes you have to move laterally or maybe even downwards. Sometimes, you also have to standstill for a while because there’s more to learn where you are.

I’ve seen Directors move back to a staff-level position before becoming VPs of large organizations. It’s not always about the title or hierarchy; sometimes, a job or department or even an organization just is not a good fit and that’s okay. Moving to a lower position in a department or organization that allows for more growth is better than staying at a higher position where there is no growth or learning.

So, what do you do if you want to grow? Growth is about learning, grasping new opportunities and finding ways to improve yourself. When it comes to career growth, here are three tips I’ve learned from experience:

  • Get yourself a mentor. Find someone who can guide you in the right direction. Having a mentor in your organization can truly be one of the best things for your career. Your mentor does not have to be your boss or even someone from your department, for that matter. For me, I was able to find my mentor in a VP that I rarely work with directly but has grown herself in a way that I admire. Plus she’s willing to put in the time and effort to help and advise me, and that’s the first characteristic of a great mentor.
  • Develop a “can-do” attitude. Attitude goes a long way these days. It doesn’t matter what industry, job or organization you work in, the workplace is becoming a busier place everyday. Technology and society have made it possible to do more with less. Sometimes, it can feel like everyone is “too busy” or that nothing is “their job.” If you’re willing to do whatever it takes for the team, no matter how big or how small, you will build stronger relationships that will help you grow your career. In such an individualistic society, it can be refreshing to have a collectivist mindset.
  • Push yourself out of your comfort zone and try new things. Don’t just stay in a job because you know how to do it. If you’re not being challenged, you’re probably not in a job that is going to help advance your career. If you’re looking for new job opportunities, don’t just look for ones that are directly aligned with your experiences or your degree. If there’s a great opportunity to learn something different, whether it’s a whole new job or just a new project/assignment, take it and diversify your skills. Trying new things, gaining different skills and taking every opportunity to learn will help you build your value proposition.

If you’re scared of doing any of the things listed, ask for guidance. If you don’t have someone to ask, go online. For example, LinkedIn Groups and Twitter chats are great places to connect with fellow professionals that are ready and willing to give you great advice on how to learn and grow.

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Leaders & HR, do we really understand our employees?

As HR professionals or as leaders of an organization, we are writing policies and procedures, developing benefit plans, creating pay structures, launching employee engagement initiatives, making hiring and firing decisions and other activities that impact our employee populations. Are we pausing to ask whether or not we truly understand what our customers’ needs are? Our employees’ needs? Do our practices align with what they need to get their jobs done successfully? Are we really serving them?

I can’t help but recall a policy that one of my HR departments wrote and enforced that was not aligned with helping employees get their jobs done successfully. It was the most ridiculous and complicated policy I have ever seen. In fact, I don’t even think I could explain it to you accurately. However, my experience with reading the policy, being asked to enforce it and training other leaders to enforce it was enough to make me start thinking – reflecting, really. Did my HR team really understand who its customers were when they wrote this policy?

To be effective leaders and HR professionals, we need to understand how our practices, policies and initiatives impact our employees. Sometimes, we focus so much on risk – creating policies to protect the organization from legal action, sending communications that are too business-oriented and complicated because we want to make sure that we document our conversations with our employees or rewriting procedures/policies because of one person or one incident.

We need to remember that the key is to manage risk, not let it manage you. Don’t let the fear of the legal system be an excuse for not providing your employees, who are your customers, with an engaging work environment where they can thrive, grow and have some fun!

Don’t make assumptions. Ask a lot of questions. Work next to your employees, not above them or below them. Be creative when determining how to best serve your customers, your employees. Make sure they are at the forefront of your mind when making decisions. Make sure they have all the resources and support they need to do their jobs in the most efficient and effective ways. Make sure you understand their perspective as they are the ones on the front line.

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Work-life balance is so last year!

OK, so I’m exaggerating a little with that title but it’s only because I want people to really get it that work-life balance was just a fad that didn’t last too long. For a few years, HR professionals were trying to figure out why employees were so unhappy with their jobs and why they were getting so burned out. So, they came up with “work-life balance,” the idea that employees will be more productive at work if we can create a better balance and distinction between their work time and their personal time.

Many companies, now, are finding out that their employee’s productivity and engagement still are not improving. But, why? Is it actually because work-life balance was a bad idea? Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe the world of technology and work just grew faster than companies and HR departments could keep up with. Maybe before we had all this technology and ways of multi-tasking and working more efficiently, things in work and life just took a lot more time and effort. Thus, it was important to differentiate and allocate specific time to our professional lives and our personal lives.

Now, we can actually engage in work and personal time simultaneously, which is why work-life balance is so last year. The new trend? Work-life integration. It might seem like it’s only a matter of semantics but I think it’s a little more than that. Whereas work-life balance focuses on how we can make sure that our employees are getting an appropriate portion of both everyday, work-life integration places a greater importance on how we can find ways to blend work and personal time so that both come together (rather than stay distinct) to create a more meaningful and whole life.

Work-life integration also forces our HR professionals to think about how to make work more enjoyable so that employees want it to become part of their being, their every day, their every second. The idea is that our work should somehow merge with our personal lives so that we can get the job done and still be able to live our lives as we please.

What does this look like in the real world? Gone are the days of no cell phones at work, no social media at work and no internet at work. Gone are the days of 9-5 shifts, work-life balance/distinction and dare I say, those ridiculous attendance policies. That’s right, employees are no longer being measured by whether or not they “show up” for work. Innovative companies are moving towards measuring performance based on results. This solves the problem of presenteeism, the concept of employees who are present at work but do not actually get work done.

With laptops, ipads, smartphones and smart gear (watches, fitbits, glasses, etc.), we can get work done anywhere, anytime. We can multitask too, performing personal and work-related tasks at the same time. For example, I can send a tweet out from my iPhone while I wait for my work computer to start-up or send a group text reminder about my dinner party to friends while I’m waiting for a meeting to start. For many people, technology has become such a norm for them that it is the only way they know how to focus (versus the idea that technology is a distraction). Technology is no longer a distraction for everyone.

Clearly, everyone works differently and for some people, keeping life and work separate may still be a preference. That’s why it’s important for HR departments and business leaders to offer more flexibility and more choice in the workplace. If we let people work however it is that they work best, we’ll see more results, productivity and engagement.

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